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Sarah Halstead

You are here: Home | Family | Siblings of Special Needs Children

January 15, 2014 By Sarah Halstead

Siblings of Special Needs Children

Filed Under: Family, Special Needs Tagged With: cerebral palsy, Holoprosencephaly

As most of you all know Dustyn fits into the category of siblings of special needs children. Lately Dustyn has been asking a ton of questions about Carsyn.

When will he talk?

When will he walk?

Is he potty trained yet?

Do you think when he is 10 years old he will walk and talk and be able to play with me?

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The other day he told Kenny and I about a dream he had. He said that him, his cardboard friend and Carsyn went upstairs (we don’t have stairs in our house). That when they went upstairs Carsyn started walking and talking, but that Carsyn could only do it while we are sleeping. Dustyn definitely has an imagination on him, but it was so hard to hear. I think I want Carsyn to walk and talk just as much as Dustyn does. The difference is I know that it may not happen and I am okay with that. I love Carsyn no matter what. I know Dustyn loves Carsyn, but I think it is taking a toll on him. He has been getting a little upset when we spend too much time with Carsyn and not much time with him. We both do try to set aside some time just for Dustyn.

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I really need some advice on how to talk to Dustyn. I want to make sure I tell him the right stuff. Up to now I have just been telling him that Carsyn has Cerebral Palsy and Special Needs. About how Carsyn does things slower then most kids, and that he may not be able to walk and talk. Even though I say this Dustyn still brings it up. It really breaks my heart because I know that he doesn’t quite understand why his brother isn’t like his friends brother and sisters.

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Dustyn has even said that he wants another brother or sister so that he can play with them. I tell him he can still play with Carsyn it will just be in a different way.

What do you tell Siblings of Special Needs Children?

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Comments

  1. KARENALBERTWINSLOW says

    February 2, 2014 at 4:51 pm

    FOR A TIME I WORKED WITH SOME SPECIAL NEEDS CHILDREN. IT WAS THRU A GROUP CALLED SPECIAL RECREATION. MOST WERE RUN BU=Y THE COUNTIES OR STATE. THEY TRIED VERY HARD TO INCLUDE THE SIBS IN MANY OF THE ACTIVITIES. IT MAY BE HELPFUL TO INCLUDE HIM IN MORE OF THE THINGS YOU DO TO BRING OUT YOUR OTHER SON & THE TRAINING U DO SO HE CAN WORK WITH HIM THE CORRECT WAY. TALK TO THE THERAPISTS ABOUT IT. IT IS GOOD FOR HIM TO SEE HOW MUCH YOU ALL STRUGGLE WITH THIS & THAT HE CAN HELP. THAT IS THE KEY IS THAT HE IS HELPING.
  2. Dawn Monzu says

    January 27, 2014 at 8:36 pm

    I think you are an amazing Mom! What you are saying is perfect! God bless you and your family. I don't have a special needs child, so I have no idea what you are going through. You seem like you definitely know what you are doing though!!!
  3. Meg A says

    January 26, 2014 at 4:12 pm

    This is so interesting to read, I work with teens with Autism and we don't get to hear about family issues often.
  4. Shannon says

    January 18, 2014 at 6:18 pm

    I don't have any advice to give. I love reading your blog and your pics are beautiful.
    • Sarah says

      January 20, 2014 at 11:03 am

      Thank you!
  5. Kimberly says

    January 17, 2014 at 10:44 am

    I have no idea what to say, but I will pray for wisdom for you in regards to this!
    • Sarah says

      January 20, 2014 at 11:01 am

      Thanks so much Kimberly!
  6. Naznin Azeez says

    January 16, 2014 at 2:54 pm

    Oh!. I don't know what you should say to Dustyn. I guess telling him the reality as if you would say to an adult would be the best. But as you mentioned, you have already told him so. I think you are going in the right direction so far..
    • Sarah says

      January 20, 2014 at 11:01 am

      Thank you!
  7. Allie says

    January 16, 2014 at 12:16 pm

    With Sarah Hazel, I have been straight up honest with her about Cameron's Autism and give her the best answers I can to her questions. I give her time to process and have noticed that now she starts telling people about her brother and why is does or doesn't do things. Knowing the truth has made her more protective of him and has brought them closer together. We do have some big issues with the attention he gets and her feeling short changed. We have started having mommy-daughter and daddy-daughter dates with her and have noticed some improvements with her attitude. I'll say a prayer for you to find the right words and for Dustyn to process it as best as he can.
    • Sarah says

      January 20, 2014 at 11:00 am

      Sounds like you are doing great. Thanks for your advise!
  8. robinsteele says

    January 16, 2014 at 11:01 am

    Our daughter with HPE is 12 and our other two kids (boys) are 7 and 9. Since they are younger, this is the only life they have known, and since they have each other there is not a big need for a playmate. Having said that, they are at an age now where they are thinking about the social aspects and differences their sister has when in public or around their other friends at school. A neighborhood young girl said one day, "Your sister is scary." Jude (9) came to Erica (his mom) and told her what happened. Erica responded with, "Do you think that your sister is scary?" He said, "Sometimes." It was a good moment to talk and simply let him express his honesty. I don't think there are 'silver bullet' words that transform our normal kids or make them ok with everything. I believe the best option is simply give them an environment to be honest, share their difficulties, and help them walk through it. It is a very hard situation with no easy answers for adults or kids.
    • Sarah says

      January 20, 2014 at 10:59 am

      Thank you for your input Robin.

Welcome

I'm Sarah and I am the writer behind this blog. I love sharing recipes, DIY projects, photos and about my everyday life. I married my high school sweetheart Kenny. We have three boys and one baby girl - Dustyn, Carsyn, Prestyn, and Annelyn. Thanks for stopping by, can't wait to get to know you more. Read More…

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