Before they started the message the band sang “Little White Church.” It was good and you can hear it at the beginning. This week he is talking about how people nowadays just think that they can live together. That they don’t need the “piece of paper”.
This is what our culture thinks about actually getting married and having that “piece of paper”:
I don’t need a piece of paper to prove my love for you. (Assumes love is a feeling)
I feel romantic passion for you, and a piece of paper doesn’t make it any stronger. A lack of piece of paper will not weaken my love for you.
Marriage vows serve as a test for you. If they don’t want to make the commitment this is what they are actually saying.
I love you, but not enough to close off all my options
I love you, but not enough to give myself to you completely.
Most couples know that the romantic feelings will go away and change. Feelings will ALWAYS change. Is it harsh to commit to someone for life, when the feelings are going to change? They think that if you are just living together, you can just walk away when the feelings change and not have to involve the court. The bible says different.
The Bible does not put romantic love against sacrificial commitment. Our culture does. It says that love is the romantic passion and feelings. True love has to have passion and promise. When the passion fades the promise sustains the couple. They have to work together. The best friend of desire is duty and the best friend of duty is desire. They work hand in hand to keep your marriage alive. You have to have that sacrificial commitment and serve your spouse.
If you have/had an infant you know what it is like to be in a sacrificial commitment. You do not get much out of the relationship besides some happiness. The baby receives all of the benefit. But you would never think of ignoring your baby’s needs in the middle of night just because you are losing sleep. It isn’t 50/50, you don’t negotiate with your baby. Like, “I will give you this bottle, but I am watching what I want to watch.” It has nothing to do with you, it has everything to do with the baby.
Genuine love needs a binding obligation to get to it’s full potential. When you are in a committed relationship you do not have to worry about them just walking out. You become relaxed, and drop your defenses. You can share your whole self with your spouse. You will grow together.
Wedding vows are not a declaration of present love. Not that you love your spouse today, but for future love. You stand before your friends, family, church, GOD and each other and promise to love no matter what. It is the promise of future love.
What should you really be saying in your vows? It is easy to love you when you are young, smooth, and firm. But I will still love you when you are old, wrinkly, and droopy. He he. That part was funny. You need to be willing to commit for life. Even if you find someone and have an affair because they are new, young, exciting. You then marry the person you had an affair with. You will then start to see all of their flaws. The cycle will continue.
If you are married you need an example to follow, like Christ loved the church. That is back to what we were talking about in the past few weeks. When Christ was on the cross he stayed on the cross and forgave us. We should forgive our spouse. If you are living on your marriage promise right now hopefully the passion will return. Hopefully this made since and you will listen to the whole message.